Clarity

So this weekend was RETARDED!!! First of all I will start by saying that I have to stop being a social alcoholic. I have been getting way too drunk, way too often. Needless to say with all the drinking comes a fuzzy brain. I have learned very quickly, that when you move like I do (fast and crazy) you can't operate on a fuzzy hung over mind. I lost my ATM card, which is not that bad, cause I didn't have much money anyway; but I am having a spasm about losing my Metro Card. $76 down the drain. And I am sooooo...pissed. Then to top it all off I have disappointed my mother yet again when it comes to money. I am a total mess, but I want to be proactive, and figure out what it is I need to do to fix the situation that I have put myself it. I was thinking about this all morning, then I came into work and checked my e-mail. I saw that my pen pal (yes I have a pen pal) of 14 years e-mailed me. In the body of the e-mail was a poem she had written, that I so desperately needed to read. Thank you Nicole.

never settle, ever patient
never settle for the vision closest to my dream
nor the person closest to LOVE
never settle, ever giving
never settle for an exchange of mindless emotional commerce
nor caged nor buried _expression
never settle, ever receiving
never settle for missing opportunities in my path
nor disconnect from love manifested
never settle, ever wise
never settle for love conquered, pitied, or feared
nor impositions of will and opinion

never settle, ever knowing
never settle for just beyond a doubt but still less than trust
nor a guarantee that i know inside will never come to pass
never settle, ever creating
never settle passively pleading that others to buy into my moments, my dreams
nor give hesitantly give only half of my light
never settle, ever present
never settle for anyone less than I, the feminine masculine free limitless fountain of LIFEç
nor eternity surrendered to false beliefs and comforts
never settle, ever flowing
never settle for stand still nor stalled growth
nor try to force or get in the way of the Divine way

always love trust and accept
always conspire with the Universe
always transcend the grandest vision of SELF
always see love and lovers wherever my eyes shall glance
always go blind to see
always BE an evolving ME
always follow the silver light of moon and bask in the golden warmth of day
always see clearly through clouds and be still in the eye of the storm
always reflect on actions, words, and thoughts
always act on reflections
always dance to the music of life
in all ways live each moment as if it is the Only.

-Nicole Litvak