Just in case you were wondering?

I wish that there was an excuse for the way that I am, but there isn't. I think that I am just that, me and there is nothing that I can do to change that. Sure, my life isn't perfect, and there are changes that can be made. Like I can be more responsible for my spending frenzy's, and I could take more pride in the work that I do. But when it comes to love, I know that that is something that can't be changed and there are no excuses. The way that I love has nothing to do with anything else going on in my life. It is actually the only thing that makes sense when everything else is chaotic. So no, loving you is not an excuse, and me hurting because of this love has nothing to do with anything else.

I am hurt, but I have been for the last 4 years so why should anything change now right? Well, just in case you are wondering, I have tried to surpress these feelings, and I have lied to you, I am sorry, but worse. I have lied to myself. I do love you.

(No this blog will not become a personal message board for you. But sometimes its easier to get out this way.)